“How are you?”, I asked.
“Oh, goodness!”, she said, wryly. “That’s a story for another day…”
Don’t you know that feeling? That there’s going to be so much stuff around that episode, or so much emotion that might leak out… and embarrass all concerned? Perhaps it’s safer just to stuff it down, put it out of mind and stop listening to the loop tape that runs in your head when you think about it?
Or then again, perhaps that isn’t safer at all.
Perhaps you’ve suddenly realised that, as a result of not listening to your feelings for so long, you don’t know who you are any more… and that’s scary.
How can you make good decisions for yourself, when you don’t quite know who that person is? What you’re really thinking or feeling, what you want?
Well, one way through this fogginess could be to work with a therapist.
A therapist should bring a kindly detachment to your situation because
- they’re not part of your back story;
- they have no axe to grind, no point of view to cling to until the crack of doom;
- they are not going to judge what you are thinking or feeling now, or what you did then. (And they definitely won’t bring it up as a stick to beat you with, the next time they are cross.)
A therapist will not be overwhelmed or embarrassed if you need to express (so-called) “difficult” feelings like anger or grief. Instead, they should help you feel safe enough to do just that.
A therapist won’t be bored if you need to tell your story more than once – they know you will probably find yourself seeing it differently each time you do so! They may be able to help you see other possibilities you’ve missed until now – connections that make more sense of it all, or another way of seeing what’s happened. And they will remain patient while you work out your own solutions and ways to move forward, reframing your future.
One more very important thing…
…working with a therapist may encourage you to see the more positive things about yourself or your situation. Often, we can be completely blind to all the things we’re doing well and sometimes it takes a fresh pair of eyes to help us see our own good stuff. As an energy therapist and coach, I often work with people who feel like this, holding a space for them to stop, put their baggage down and get some clarity.
Life feels so much better when we become reacquainted with ourselves.
Do you agree? Do join the conversation, below – I’d love to know your views. And if you’d like to find out more about working with me, you can check out this page – or get in touch here to arrange a short, free chat by telephone or via Skype.