It can be quite discombobulating to feel that you’ve changed in some way or another, can’t it? It can leave you feeling as if you don’t quite know yourself, in some subtle but important way; and processing change definitely takes time, even when that change is entirely positive.
It’s something I often talk about with clients and recently I’ve been noticing it in myself, too, since completing some training in Matrix Birth Reimprinting. As part of that training, I was able to do some significant personal work, the effects of which I’m slowly absorbing.
Processing change is something that you just can’t rush – it takes as long as it takes to adjust to a new reality, so give yourself some time and space.
How you react will depend on many factors, not least where you were to start with. If you are living with the memory of some difficult event, you may well be experiencing one of the classic “fight, flight or freeze” responses.
- The “fight” response may show up as spurts of anger at the world, or at specific people. But if you don’t feel safe enough to express anger, it may be turned inwards and can bring self-destructive thoughts or behaviour.
- A person stuck in the “flight” response may feel anxiety or other forms of restlessness, be driven by fear and unable to relax or settle, perhaps with disrupted sleep patterns or odd dreams.
- Someone whose instinctive response to trauma was to “freeze” can find themselves gripped by inertia, all the while feeling unable to relax.
Once we have discharged the trauma that was held in that difficult memory, those memories can be filed under “finished” and our systems can return to a more balanced way of being. But this more balanced state may feel very odd indeed, to someone who has spent years with a different baseline!
- Relaxed – can feel a bit aimless, if you’re not used to it! If you are no longer feeling driven, you may need to find a new way to motivate yourself to action – do remember to be kind about it, though.
- Rest – you may notice that you feel quite weary and that you need more sleep than before. Give yourself permission to take things a little more slowly than usual for a while and try not to impose a deadline on this phase – it will take as long as it takes, remember.
- Repair – keep well hydrated and eat nourishing food to allow your body to get rid of all those stress hormones and return to a healthier, more balanced state.
And don’t forget to give yourself credit for any new, more helpful behaviours – often we simply don’t notice just how far we have come and how our automatic habits have shifted.
So, do remember to notice and celebrate your “new normal”.
After all that, we may also find that dealing with one issue allows another one to surface and that’s perfectly normal, too. Remember, we are all a work in progress, all of us doing the best we can with the knowledge and understanding we have at any given time. So cut yourself some slack, as you adjust to this new you!
Your voice is the only thing missing from this post; I’d love to hear your views and experience of processing change, so please do share them, below.