I see my work with clients as a process of guided self-help, whichever way we are working in the moment.
I use a number of different approaches and this post about Neuro Linguistic Programming is one of a series giving some background information to the various ways in which I work with clients. (Follow the links for the posts about the energy therapies of EFT, Matrix Reimprinting and Reiki.)
You are the expert on your life and your situation – I simply offer you a variety of ways in which to look at what’s going on and I offer support as you move through the feelings and beliefs towards a more comfortable way to be you.
What is Nuero Linguistic Programming (NLP)? Neuro Linguistic Programming is a collection of tools and techniques used in a wide range of settings, from education and business to counselling and coaching. It was created in California in the 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. They examined the work of a number of highly successful therapists and discovered that, despite working in varying ways, there were some important underpinning ideas held in common. Also, by minutely examining the various techniques used by these therapists, Bandler and Grinder devised some very simple protocols that anyone could follow.
What happens during a session? I use NLP in the context of a coaching session, and I will be aiming first to help you feel comfortable and able to examine and discuss your particular issue. We may simply have a wide-ranging conversation or we may use visualisation or movement around the room to help you explore your feelings and your beliefs. The work is always forward-focused, but we could need to “look in the rear-view mirror” at times – for example, to see where unhelpful beliefs have their roots and whether they are still valid. Remember, it’s a process of guided self-help – you are the expert on what it’s like to be you. My job is to ask questions and provide a space for you to explore.
What does it feel like? Interesting and useful, I hope!
And what can NLP do for me? Our subconscious mind is a prodigious database, keeping our bodies ticking over and running a great many actions on autopilot. If you learned to drive, can you remember how complicated it felt at first – mirror, indicate, clutch-gear, handbrake-accelerate-clutch – oh, and steer! And now? It’s probably completely automatic, you barely have to think what you’re doing.
You are steering your life according to any number of beliefs, unconsciously held in this same database – some may be positive and helpful to you but some may be negative or unhelpful and these are the ones you may want to rewrite.
As an example, one of the underpinning ideas of NLP is that “There is no failure, only feedback”. If you hold that to be true, you can try new ideas or activities, free from the fear of what it may be like if you ‘fail’. And if things don’t work out in the way you’d hoped, you can bypass the blame game and get on with finding solutions. Compare how that feels with a belief like “I’m a failure” or “I always get things wrong”…
Is NLP safe? Another important belief is that everybody is different AND THAT’S OK. So there is absolutely no chance that I will try and squeeze you into a pre-formed ‘ideal’ shape. You stay safely you-shaped, just more comfortable.
Can I learn NLP? A good book about NLP is this one, by Bandler, Roberti & Fitzpatrick
The people I trained with, Field & Field, offer free information about NLP on their website and they run excellent training courses in lovely venues in the Cotswolds.
If working in this way is of interest to you, drop me a line here and we can arrange to have a free discovery conversation about your situation.