New Year resolutions

New Year Resolutions | Notice reads "New Year's Eve"So that was Christmas.  To me, Christmas is red, green and gold, velvety warm and cosy, with love and giving and receiving.  (And, yes, I do realise I am fortunate in this.)

But now, it’s nearly the New Year and that, for me, is a very different beast altogether!  It seems icy blue and white, shiny and cold and filled with triggers for not feeling good enough… with other people’s goals and New Year resolutions being trumpeted all around me.

But, wait!  I’m a COACH!  And for coaches, the New Year post is crucial – it’s where you sell your programmes to all the people who have bought into the global fear that they’re not good enough and so must

  1. self-improve to be remotely acceptable and
  2. purge all the enjoyment and indulgence of the last week or so because they did not, after all, deserve it…

I just can’t do it. 

For a start, the word “goals” produces an instant expletive from my inner child – made rebellious from many years of trying desperately to please the big people, so as to ensure survival.  I have to confess it still makes me want to kick furniture…  Then there’s the exhaustion that growing up in an unsafe emotional environment can leave.  There’s little energy left to “power up” and strive to do anything except make it through the day if you are white-knuckle coping as it is.  And if you know that whatever you do will not be enough, well, sooner or later you give up.

So New Year resolutions have always been a very tricky issue for me!

However, year on year, I have worked my way through the emotional debris* and although I must confess to some residual resistance when anyone implies that I “should” do something, I have reached a point where 1st January no longer brings the reflex thought “Another bloody year…”.

This year I am following a gentle process of enquiry to find my “Word” for the year to come (it’s created by Susannah Conway and available free here).  This word will help me set my intention for the coming year and I am working my way towards finding a word that really resonates, that doesn’t frighten my (still convalescent) inner child, and has kindness and loving support implicit and explicit within its meaning and its connotations.  You receive five daily emails and, at the end of each, Susannah suggests you “put this to one side and go and do something else”.  This, alone, is balm to the soul of anyone who was told to “sit there until you’ve finished and, by the way, hurry up!”

New Year Resolutions | A delicate cup of black teaI will be following this up with another free resource from Susannah – a workbook called “Unravelling the year ahead”.  Again, I will be taking my time, listening to myself and stopping as often as I wish in order to go and do something else (probably to have a cup of tea) and I’m not setting myself any arbitrary deadlines for its completion.

So, to recap, over the next few days I shall be choosing a word that will set the tone for my year, as well as using intuition and imagination to consider some aspects of a year that I would wish for and can create for myself.  And then I’ll probably put it all down and go and make another cup of tea.

How have you got on with previous New Year’s resolutions?  What went well – and what didn’t?  What do you plan or hope for yourself this year?  Do write your thoughts in the comments box underneath this post and, if you have enjoyed reading this, please do spread the love by sharing it, using the buttons below.

And, finally, if you’re wondering whether I could help you discover a more comfortable way of living with any of the tools that have worked for me*, please do get in touch here to arrange for a free initial conversation.

New Year Resolutions | A red leather heartOh, and I wish you a very Happy New Year!

 * for info, I did that with Reiki, EFT, Matrix Reimprinting and NLP and you could, too.  Have a look here and here.


Photo credit: ell brown via / CC BY-SA
Photo credit: halfrain via / CC BY-SA
Photo credit: Darwin Bell via / CC BY

Is it really selfish to take care of me, first?

Do you ever ask yourself, “Is it really OK or am I just being selfish to want to take care of me, first?” Perhaps you’ve read articles about how we can’t give from an empty cup? Remember how airline cabin crew tell us to put the oxygen mask on our own face before attending to everyone else? And,…Continue Reading

My self-care resource list

It won’t surprise you to hear that my own principal self-care resource is Reiki and that I would be delighted to teach you how to use this wonderful energy practice to support yourself, too.  There’s more about Reiki here, and about learning Reiki here… but I won’t bang on! Self-care is something we can all…Continue Reading

Why work with a therapist?

“How are you?”, I asked. “Oh, goodness!”, she said, wryly.  “That’s a story for another day…” Don’t you know that feeling?  That there’s going to be so much stuff around that episode, or so much emotion that might leak out… and embarrass all concerned?  Perhaps it’s safer just to stuff it down, put it out…Continue Reading

Why should you try Reiki for pain?

Pain in your body can feel all consuming When you’re in pain, you just can’t focus your thoughts on anything else, can you?  And the more you struggle to get past the painful sensations, the stronger their grip seems to be. “It’s hard to describe, because pain types differ but there was a particular pain…Continue Reading

Would you consider Reiki for worry or sadness?

Why consider Reiki when you’re struggling with difficult emotions? My first experience of Reiki felt like being wrapped in love.  As a young woman with a history of anxiety and depression, I sorely needed to feel loved! That moment was so profound, it has never left me and I am always so happy to share…Continue Reading

The struggle to break free

Does your life feel like one long struggle to break free?  Do you feel as if you’ve been wrestling with the same issue… forever?  You’ve done everything you can think of to try and tear away from this raging anger, these fearful feelings of anxiety… but they just bite harder. It’s so frustrating, isn’t it? …Continue Reading

The crushing weight of anxiety

It’s clear that a great many people are struggling under the crushing weight of anxiety right now.  I won’t lie – I’ve been one of them.  And with the various horrors and stupidities unfolding across the world, maybe some level of anxiety is an entirely sane response to a crazy time? Whatever the cause, how…Continue Reading

Set your new Personal Best!

It can be hard to find the courage to change; to keep on growing and expanding personal horizons; to do new and previously impossible things. But you really don’t have to be an Olympic athlete to set a new Personal Best! Two people who have overcome a debilitating phobia of birds have been exceeding theirs…Continue Reading

Changing your mind

It can be so hard to admit that we’ve pursued a path that isn’t quite right for us, can’t it?  Especially if this path has been rather publicly taken.  Sometimes it can seem as though the world values decision and action above all else.  “Pushing on through” is the recommended course, while reflection and ultimately…Continue Reading

Copyright © 2018 | web design by healthhosts